***
It is a sunny day, here in the forest. I have many dates planned, there are so many wonderful women who find an interest in me that I cannot decide on just one. Their interest is a wonder to me in itself, as I am just one man; but, any relationship whether platonic or more is a relationship to have as all people have something to offer. However, since so many of these beautiful women women like my appearance - maybe I am more than just one man? Maybe, I have something to offer with my looks alone?
His thoughts are interrupted. As he passes a pond, he notices something strange.
What is this?
He attempts to wave at the person in the pond, but the person does not respond as they stare in adoration.
It is just a pond, but if it is just that, how can someone be on the other side?
It is just a pond, but if it is just that, how can someone be on the other side?
He ponders, as this person touches the surface, making the water ripple. The person looks as if it is trying to embrace the surface, even try to kiss it.
It is as if he doesn’t know I am here, and yet there is something so familiar about this stranger in this weird pond… And it is not that it is a stranger, it is me! This must be evil magic of some kind.
It is as if he doesn’t know I am here, and yet there is something so familiar about this stranger in this weird pond… And it is not that it is a stranger, it is me! This must be evil magic of some kind.
He runs away, frightened by the realization.
At home, he confronts his mother.
***
At home, he confronts his mother.
Mother: Empathus, what is wrong? You look so distressed?
Empathus: I was in the forest, and upon looking in a pond I saw myself in another world!
Mother: I was afraid one day something like this would happen, please, sit down.
Empathus takes a seat.
Mother: Many years ago, when you were born, a prophet told me that you would do many great things in life and live a long wholesome life - but only if you did not discover yourself.
Empathus: what could that even mean?
Mother: I am afraid it is this occurrence is what was foretold.
Empathus: So it is simple, I will never enter that forest again.
Mother: No! Those who seek to change their fates always meet them tenfold. Remember Uranus? Remember Cronus? They tried to stop the inevitable! Had they allowed events to unfold naturally, maybe they would have survived their prophecies.
Empathus: Then what am I to do?
Mother: There is nothing more you can do, but discover yourself. See what this portal shows you, and learn from it.
***
Back in the forest, Empathus finds the pond once more.
Alright, Inevitable, what have you to reveal.
Within the pond, he can now hear himself speak in the otherworld. He hears himself speak of adoration for his own face, yet act in anger and melancholy that he cannot be with the one person worthy of his affection - himself. His once young reflection starts to fade, becoming old and grey. Starved and dying, he disintegrates into nothing, alone.
This, this cannot be my fate. My face is not my worth, nor is anyone’s face. Life means more than a face. My life, my worth, is deeper than my flesh, and I cannot prove my worth beneath my flesh without virtuous action. This was the lesson to be taught, that I must know true till the end of my days.
This, this cannot be my fate. My face is not my worth, nor is anyone’s face. Life means more than a face. My life, my worth, is deeper than my flesh, and I cannot prove my worth beneath my flesh without virtuous action. This was the lesson to be taught, that I must know true till the end of my days.
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Author’s Note:
The idea came to me to make Narcissus the opposite of himself, as humble person who values others more than himself as his mother raised him to be, as she feared the prophecy. Instead of narrating it just from that perspective alone, I chose to tell a story from the other side of his reflection - sort of like a one way glass that is a portal into a parallel but opposite universe; he is humble, and instead of falling in love with his reflection he sees what he could be if he had discovered himself as the prophecy had claimed. Though his mother did her best to raise him right, by not revealing the prophecy she didn’t give him all the knowledge to handle his “fate” the best way he could. Many greek stories have characters try to avoid “fate” and things are much worse. Like Uranus and Cronus, if they had just accepted that their sons would become rulers in their place one day maybe they wouldn't have been castrated or imprisoned. I decided to have Empathus be a humble person, but that he would still grow up to be a narcissist if he did not see the consequences to understanding beauty is only skin deep (having many girls ask him out started to have an effect on how he viewed himself). I decided to name him Empathus because empathy is more or less the opposite of narcissism. In this story, unlike greek mythology, fate and prophecies are not so much a guarantee but a warning of what will occur if actions are not corrected.
Hi Selena! Your story was great to read! I really liked how you decided to switch the fate, or allow Empathus to himself, from the original Narcissist story. Having him ask his mother for advice and she telling him to not ignore the prophecy was a good detail. Yet, I also feel like usually in Greek mythology most of the fault to the character comes from those whom received the prophecy not instilling it to whom it's meant for. Wonder what would've happened if he was told at a earlier age.
ReplyDeleteHi Selena! I liked how you changed this story up! It has a lot of good lessons that are honestly really applicable to everyone, especially how beauty is only skin deep. Empathus realizing this in the story is not only different from the original but probably how he could save himself from the fate of his Narcissism.
ReplyDeleteHey, Selena. I was really wowed by the concept of your story. The idea of having Narcissus as a character completely opposite himself was a fascinating take on this story. I also like how you worked multi dimension theory into a myth as old as this one. I wonder how the dialogue between these two might go. An argument between Narcissism and Empathus could wander through a lot of philosophy. I thought you had a good balance of using dialogue, description, and action phrases to develop the plot. It might be interesting to tell this story only through descriptive imagery or another medium of plot development. There are a number of different literary features you might be able to play around with to fit Narcissus, for example: in an interaction between the two, Narcissus might only speak in reference to himself and Empathus might only use the pronoun we. Just something to consider exploring.
ReplyDeleteHi Selena!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the idea of an inverse Narcissus! The concept alone is amazing (what if everyone has an opposite self?), and allowing Empathus the opportunity to improve upon his mirror-self is a fantastic development of character.
There's a very nice logical progression to the story, which starts in the opening paragraph (before greatness is possible, the knowledge of what is great must be observed). I think the epilogue paragraph underscores this, giving Empathus a future with the knowledge that greatness is independent of flesh and appearance. This was very satisfying for me as a reader.
The only suggestions I would offer would be perhaps including a bit more description regarding the pond encounter between both of them. I wonder if the pond would look as though Narcissus was simply underwater, or if Empathus could tell whether there was something bizarre or weird surrounding the portal. Also, I'm curious if Empathus had ever visited the pond before (perhaps when Narcissus wasn't there), or if this was the first time he'd ever been to this part of the forest.
This was a wonderful read! Thank you!
Hi Selena! First off, I love the idea and concept of the inverse Narcissus! I have often thought of what it would be like to have an opposite version of myself, so this was really interesting to read! I definitely like the progression of the story and how it all seems to flow together really nicely. In my own opinion, I do prefer to have the authors note at the top of the page instead of after the story so that the readers are able to gain an understanding of the story they are about to read as well as the inspiration for the new version. But, your authors note was very detailed and I definitely appreciated that! However, I do agree with Laura that a little more description between the pond encounter would be beneficial. Overall, I really enjoyed your story and I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on! Have a great semester, Selena!
ReplyDeleteHey Selena. Your authors note is perfect with the detailed description. It makes it easy to see the connection between the stories. I like the way you changed the story to where Narcissus was advised to oppose the prophecy. That is something you would not normally see and I liked the originality. Keep up the good work and have a good semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Selena! I really like that you completely changed your main character from the main character of the original story and that you reflected this change in his name. I also liked how your story was different in that the main part was dialogue and it was interrupted by moments of action. I thought this gave your story such a unique feel!
ReplyDelete